Field Notes from Week 18 Post-Op
A letter featuring less fear and loathing in Las Vegas and more looking forward to the next adventure
Happy Sunday!
I’m a bit fatigued today, so I’m just going to treat this week’s edition like an open letter.
In the last week, I got back into a comforting habit of writing cards to people I care about, and below is what I would write to anyone asking, “How goes the healing?” this week.
Without further ado, my latest recovery memo from my “mailbox” to yours.
Dear friends,
It’s hard to believe it’s the last week of August, and after what’s been a really tough summer, I’m relieved to see the seasons change. The stereotypically-swampy Southern heat has started to give way to an ever-so-slight coolness in the air.
When I wake up to walk the dogs in the morning—because I can actually walk the dogs now—the imminence of “sweater weather” gives me hope. While I’m nowhere near “cured” or at 100%, and am a far cry away from being able to train jiu-jitsu again, I’m starting to feel as if the worst of this recovery process is behind me.
The last two weeks have been ones of pride when it comes to recovery. I went to Las Vegas to watch the ADCC World Championships, and even though I was very scared about how the trip and the event-watching would play out given my latest state of mobility, it went pretty well.
I’d been in Vegas with my mother in early July to watch Lady Gaga in concert, and getting around the hotel, the city, and the venue had been much harder then than it was last weekend. While Vegas is still not a place I would recommend anyone visit when recovering from a major surgery—or otherwise having trouble walking—I’m proud of what I was able to achieve in the six weeks separating the two trips. This time around:
I didn’t need wheelchair assistance in the airport.
I could get on and off of escalators without hesitation.
I could walk to the gym in the morning more quickly and was able to use the elliptical machine for cardio—last time, the only thing I could do was the bike.
I dodged drunk people and loose children with greater ease and generally flinched less in crowds.
Overall, I had less anxiety, in part due to greater trust and self-understanding of when and whether my body would give out on me. I only had one moment where my knee buckled and when it did, I took some time to rest
Vegas was still an obstacle course, but all the walking—around the hotel, to the T-Mobile Arena (where ADCC took place), along The Strip—definitely forced me to push the limits of being on my feet.
By the time I got back to my next PT appointment, one that had I expected to go poorly given the flying and the fatigue, my physical therapist was impressed.
“You’re walking a lot better,” she said. Her smile is half I knew you could do it and half I’m pleasantly surprised.
“Thanks,” I said, sighing heavily, relieved to be back home, away from the flashing lights, the tireless din of the casinos, the relentless crowds. “The last few days have been a lot of practice.”
Outside of surviving and being able to enjoy parts of the trip to Vegas, I’ve been proud of:
Being able to push myself a little harder in the gym and feeling like my knee can hold up to more (strictly non-contact) activity
Not having to “reset my kneecap” as much by pushing down on a specific spot of my quad.
Increasingly going out in public with a very light brace or, in some circumstances (a dermatologist appointment, dinner with friends ina. quiet strip mall spot), no brace at all.
There’s plenty I’m still struggling to do or am fearful about when it comes to recovery:
Going up and down curbs is extremely nerve-racking for me, because there’s no railing I can clutch for dear life—and clutching a railing is the only reason I can now make it up and down a flight of stairs.
Leg extensions are still a painful grind, both figuratively and literally. The sensation of my femur grinding against my patella is less severe, but it’s still uncomfortable. I also can’t perform a leg extension with any weight on my operative leg yet. It’s strictly bodyweight.
I’m mildly dreading my next surgical post-op appointment, which is tomorrow. Given the amount of improvement I’ve had since the last post-op appointment, I trust that my surgeon didn’t mess up my surgery and that I am, in fact, healing. That said, his bedside manner is somewhat lacking. Last time, testing the integrity and stability of my knee, he shook it around so vigorously and suddenly that I instantly burst into tears and didn’t acknowledge the pain he’d put me in at all. Will he shake my knee again like a kid shaking precious coins out of a piggy bank? Probably. Am I looking forward to it? Only to it being over with.
The most exciting thing I have going on with regard to recovery is what I have planned at the six-month mark post-surgery: a long-awaited, now-in-the-works honeymoon trip to Japan.
My husband and I were supposed to go on honeymoon in closer succession to our wedding last fall, but we never went through with it. Between a down payment and the wedding celebrations in 2023, we decided to let expenses calm down before going on a big trip, expecting to go on our honeymoon in early 2024.
It’s a good thing we didn’t do the honeymoon at the time I’d initially planned, in Feburary, for two reasons:
I got laid off in December and would start a new job in late January. It might have been a bad look to join a new company for two weeks and then be gone for two weeks within my first 90 days.
Given the dates I’d picked in February, we would have left for the trip within a week of the tournament when my knee injury happened. I was in a ton of pain and struggling to move and can’t imagine being my able to enjoy the trip, let alone get on the flight. We would have had to cancel the trip, no question.
The honeymoon trip has become so delayed that it’s now a first anniversary trip, but it’ll be an awesome one. I’ve started booking hotels and looking into activities. While I won’t be at the point where I can train jiu-jitsu in Japan (which I did back in 2019), I’m confident I’ll be able to handle walking around Kyoto and Tokyo. I hope I’ll be able to do some hiking around Mt. Fuji be able to deal with all the steps at various shrines I hope we’ll visit.
If nothing else, it’s something new and noteworthy to strive: a goal of enjoying our honeymoon and anniversary trip to its absolute fullest.
With that, thanks for reading. See you next week.
If you’ve got any questions about recovery or notes on what you’d like to ready about next, drop a comment below.
EZ